“Hard work pays off!” I’ve often heard these words used as a motivation for people to work harder, by people who need them to. Coaches are famous for Saying this and other phrases such as; “effort makes all the difference”, “if you want playing time show me how much you want it at practice” “effort equals minutes”, “hard work is the path to success”. I’ve heard these motivators used in business meetings, classrooms, gyms, and even in a sermon or two.
Unfortunately, these sayings are not necessarily accurate, and if the person hearing them is smart enough to watch and learn, they will eventually see that these statements are not formula’s for success. When used by people trying to bring about a specific result, they can even be a form of manipulation. For instance, in my years of coaching my kids in every sport imaginable I have had contact with many other coaches, who have promised more playing time for hard work during practices, only to see those promises broken because there are obviously other factors that contribute. There are many factors that go into decisions about playing time such as raw talent, team dynamics, and strategy. Hard work can not and will not translate directly into playing time, so maybe we should stop saying that it will.
When we give pep talks to inspire others to work harder, and promise rewards that are not guaranteed or even likely, it creates some really bad outcomes for our players/men-tees/pupils.
For example, when expectations that we have created are not met, they can be left with feelings of mistrust, since we were the source of those expectations. The ability to coach, mentor, and train others is based on our ability to relate to them in a meaningful way. When we created mistrust, we undermine our own ability to inspire those we have chosen to invest our lives in.
In addition, we also create a sense of self-doubt. When success doesn’t come immediately, our charges can create the myth that they just didn’t work hard enough, and we can often promote this myth without even trying, as we keep encouraging them to try harder. Self doubt is never a step toward success of any kind, and we need to be sure that we don’t contribute to the deep hold that it can have on those around us.
Finally we can encourage a sense of helplessness when we constantly promise success which never comes. When a person believes they are doing all that they can to move forward and success continues to move beyond their reach, they can often feel as if they are simply not enough, and that nothing they do will ever be enough. When you feel like you can’t succeed, then what’s the point of trying. Helplessness is just a heartbeat away from hopelessness, and that is not something any of us want to inspire in others.
The only outcome of hard work that is guaranteed is progress. Hard work moves us in the direction that we are committed to strive for, and as a result, is its own reward. Progress through effort allows us to see small victories and gain confidence from them. We then feel empowered to continue to work in the right direction even when setbacks come, or the reward that we were hoping for doesn’t appear before us. We have a responsibility to help those that we coach and mentor to be honest about what they can accomplish, and to paint a picture for them of progress and not instant gratification.
In life, hard work is always a good thing, and I believe that we should encourage those around us to work hard toward their goals, but lets not fall for the lie that hard work equals success, at least not immediately, and lets be realistic about outcomes with those that we coach, mentor, and train. There are so many factors that come into play when it comes to our accomplishments in life and often the decisions of others have just as much to do with our successes and failures as our own. There is a fine line between motivation and manipulation. One spurs people on to become the best version of themselves and the other creates mistrust, self doubt, and feelings of helplessness. When we coach others in sports, faith, career, or just life in general, we need to make sure that we are realistic in our expectations for them and honest about what their hard work will bring them.